


by the time the monsters move out we owe them nothing

by aletterinthenameofsanity



Series: hold my hand (i can hear the ghost calling) [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anti Team Cap, BAMF Sam Wilson, Civil War Team Iron Man, Disabled Character, Disabled Character of Color, Honest to God Why?, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Metaphors, Not Steve Friendly, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Why Steve?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-04 01:30:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10979544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aletterinthenameofsanity/pseuds/aletterinthenameofsanity
Summary: In which Steve has far too much in common with Howard for comfort.(Namely, iron fists that don't stop to think about who they're hurting.)





	by the time the monsters move out we owe them nothing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [syriala](https://archiveofourown.org/users/syriala/gifts).



> Title from "Shine" by Shane Koyczan.
> 
> Takes place in a universe where Steve finds Bucky almost immediately after Ultron and sneaks off to Siberia asap. Therefore, Accords aren't an issue yet, Rhodey doesn't get shot down, the team doesn't get captured and held in the SHIELD prison, and Peter doesn't get dragged into everything yet. Tony goes after Steve and Bucky at Sam and Clint's behest (they're both still a bit beaten up, feeling the effects of the Battle in Sokovia and all), and the following happens.

If Steve had been truthful with Tony about Howard and Maria's death from the start, he would have understood. He knows better than anyone how much Howard deserves justice, how much someone might want to get rid of him. He understands iron fists, understands what someone can do when under the control of someone else.  
  
He understands brutal honesty. After all, that's what he's always sworn he'd honor despite the cost. Be honest, even when it breaks hearts. Be honest, even when it fells dreams. Be honest, no matter the consequence, because people deserve the truth.  
  
He would have forgiven Steve if he'd told Tony the truth about what the Winter Soldier had done under the influence of HYDRA. He would have been angry for awhile, sure, but he'd have gotten over it. He'd have helped Steve search for Bucky, have helped Bucky recover.  
  
(That's what he's been doing, ever since he escaped Afghanistan. He's helped people recover, helped people return to a world that no longer accepts them. He's helped people acclimate, and heal, and if only one person returns to him and tells him that he's helped then that will be enough.)  
  
(And Sam's got that covered, so Tony feels like his change from bomb to relief is justified.)  
  
But now, in a underground bunker in Siberia, Steve drops this bomb in his lap and Tony doesn't have time to process. He doesn't have time to think. He can only feel, and rage, and be betrayed.  
  
He goes after Bucky, and he knows that it's not Bucky's fault but he also knows that Bucky can handle this. They'll fight to a standstill and both of them will come out a little bruised but ultimately not too worse for the wear.  
  
But then Steve joins in and everything goes to fucking shit.  
  
\---  
  
Sam meets Tony at the door to Avengers Tower as soon as he's flown in on T'Challa's jet. He'd gotten medical care on the jet (as evidenced by the sling holding his arm out of harm's way), but there's extreme bruising all over his body that can't be fixed easily. He can barely breathe, much less let Sam and Rhodey's dog tags hang against his chest, so he has their chains tucked carefully inside of a thin, bulletproof wallet inside of his front pants pocket.  
  
He feels like he's been hollowed out, like someone has taken one of Bruce's scalpels and scraped out his insides. There are bruises inside, outside, everywhere he isn't afraid to look-  
  
He looks up to see Sam, still using that chrome walking stick that Tony made for him after his bionic leg got half blown off in the Battle of Sokovia. Sam's staring at him like he's a ghost returning home, and for once in his life Tony doesn't know what to say.  
  
"Tony," Sam says, breathing his name like a prayer and a nightmare all at once, and Tony swallows.  
  
"Yeah?" He acknowledges, and an instant later he's wrapped in the gentlest of embraces. He barely feels Sam's arms around him, it's that light a hug, but he feels enough and that's good for him.  
  
"I'm so sorry," Sam says, genuine sorrow in his voice, "I never would have suggested this if I'd known Bucky would lash out like-"  
  
"It wasn't Bucky," Tony interrupts abruptly, then corrects himself: "Well, not entirely."  
  
Sam seems to have trouble comprehending for a moment, so Tony counts out the seconds until Sam figures it out. As much as Tony believes in truth, there are some bombs that wreak damage that he doesn't want to inflict. If Sokovia taught him anything it's that he can't drop bombs and expect people to understand, to feel any sort of sympathy with the people that destroyed them.  
  
Then Sam leans back so Tony can see his face. Tony misses Sam's embrace as soon as it leaves, but then he sees that Sam's face has hardened and Tony knows that he's gotten it. "Steve did this to you?" He asks, voice filled with righteous anger, and Tony tries not to flinch but he doesn't quite succeed. He spent years training himself not to respond violently, but after what just happened with Steve and Bucky- with someone he was supposed to be able to trust- he's sliding back into old patterns of reactions. Sam's face softens and he reaches out a hand to graze Tony's shoulder. "Tones, you okay?"  
  
Tony nods, even though he's not okay, not even close. Sam nibbles at his bottom lip a bit (a seriously adorable habit that manages to take Tony's mind of the pain for just a moment) as he thinks. "My dogtags," Sam murmurs, and Tony holds out his free hand.  
  
"Don't think I'm ever gonna get the imprint of your, Rhodey, and Riley's names off of my chest," Tony says, attempting a joke, but it falls flat.  
  
"That hard?" Sam asks, tone dangerously neutral, and Tony nods.

"He shoved the shield into my- into Iron Man's- chest," Tony starts, and suddenly the words are just tumbling out. The explanation of what happened in Siberia comes out in stuttering words, in braced sentiments, but eventually every bloody detail is laid out before Sam. He tells Sam about how the fight started, about how Steve lied for years and how Tony was only going to fight Bucky but then Steve ganged up on him and-

The words hurt, but Tony forces them out. He has to be honest, no matter the cost- he promised himself, all those years ago. Everyone deserves the truth, no matter what happens afterward.

"Rogers better watch his back," Sam says, tone low, and Tony nearly asks him not to say anything. Tony nearly tells him that it's not important, that Steve isn't worth it, that Sam shouldn't hurt Steve for a fight that Tony started, but then he remembers. He remembers that  _he_ didn't deserve what Steve did to him. It's easy to forget, especially when he's used to blaming himself for everything, but after years with Pepper, Rhodey, and Sam, he's starting to remember that it's not always his fault.

"Okay," Tony says, and remembers.  
  
\---  
  
Steve and Bucky show up at the Tower a few weeks later, worse for the wear, and Sam Wilson's the first to greet Steve after Bucky's been taken off to therapy for all kinds of things that have fucked him up real bad.

"How the fuck could you do something like that to someone who trusted you?" Sam growls, and Steve looks at him like he's insane.

"The situation called for it-"

"What the hell kind of situation calls for you to smash your shield into the chest of a teammate?"

"You've lost objectivity, Sam," Steve says, missing the way that Sam's free hand clenches into a fist at his words. "Clearly dating Tony has-"  
  
_Crunch_.  
  
Sam's knuckles are bruised when he pulls them back from socking Steve in the nose, but he can't bring himself to care. His lips curl back as he stares at Steve, who dazedly holds a hand up to his nose to catch the blood dripping down his face.  
  
"Fuck you, Rogers," Sam spits. "You're the one who's lost objectivity. Barnes deserves help, deserves to be saved from that he'll he was experiencing under HYDRA, but that doesn't mean Tony deserves to be lied to and betrayed and nearly beaten to death by someone he was supposed to be able to trust, you _bastard_."  
  
Steve gives look halfway between shame and _you're insane_ , and Sam can't look at him any longer. His hand falls back to his side and he turns on his wobbly half-finished replacement leg.

"You don't deserve that shield, Steve," Sam says, unknowingly echoing his husband's words from weeks before.  
  
\---  
  
Tony greets him with a grin and a passionate kiss. Sam doesn't protest at the motion- he's not stupid, he's not going to reject making out with his husband- but when Tony leans back to breathe he has to ask, "What was that for?"  
  
Tony smirks, raising an eyebrow. "I can't just kiss my husband?"  
  
"Not that level of intensity out of the blue," Sam says. "I know you well enough, Tony- you don't normally initiate with that level of emotion. Is something wrong?"  
  
"Far from it. I saw the security feed of your... conversation with Steve. I've never had anyone stand up for me like that before. I've always had to do that for myself, and even then people don't seem to listen."  
  
Sam's used to revelations of Tony's that follow along these kind of lines, but it still hurts his heart to hear.

"Well," he says, "You don't have to worry about that anymore. I'm here for you."

"And I for you," Tony says, and Sam knows it's the truth.

**Author's Note:**

> Not my best, but I've been sick. Hope you all liked it- go Team Ironfalcon!


End file.
